Tips for contacting other fetishists and BDSM people:

Be willing to travel - it really is worth driving a couple of hours just to attend an event with open-minded peers.

Be flexible - general BDSM groups might not immediately address your specific fetish, but through large groups you may eventually find others like yourself.

Be cautious - don't give out your personal information until you are completely comfortable with a group.  (If you want to contact anyone via email, consider using Hushmail, so that people can't trace your individual I.P.# address.)

Be selective - most groups are legitimate, but some groups are organized by people who can't get people to play with them any other way.  Use your judgment before joining an organization or engaging in play.

Be polite - find out what the group's rules and etiquette are, and follow them.  If necessary, err on the side of caution.

Be honest - you don't have to have the "most common" fetishes or orientations.  If you're a switch, dom, sub, voyeur, asexual, whatever, don't accept any pressure to act like you're something other than what you are.